question about co-dependency?

Published February 16, 2014

Question by DearAbby2: question about co-dependency?
I recently had a discussion about co-dependency. Someone told me that I am co-dependent because I tend to “help” people. I certainly could not see his point. I am very self sufficient, take care of my daughter and myself alone – alway have.. I run into people all the time that need assistance in some way or another and am one of the 1st to offer help, if I’m able. Could someone explain to me how this makes me co-dependent? I feel this this guy was wrong and just don’t get his logic.
Example of a way I helped someone.. I read in the newspaper about a girl who was bit by a pit bull dog, had to have skin graph surgery, got infected, almost lost her arm, then while at the dr. her apt burned down and she lost everything. When I read it, I was moved and wanted to help. I figured giving her money wouldn’t be good enough because it wouldn’t buy the things she lost. So, I threw together a benefit for her. I didn’t do it because I wanted kudos for it. I did it because I thought to myself.. omg.. what if I lost everything.. I just wanted to help.

I do understand what some people said below about helping a drunk or whatever.. but I think that would be being an enabler.. not being co-dependent.

Best answer:

Answer by misslee
I Feel Like There Is Nothing Wrong With Being Co-Dependent, I Fall Under This Category Many Times Because Like Yourself I’m Always Helping Someone.. It Just Means That Someone Is Always Depending On You For Help No Matter What And You Never Deny Them, It Could Be A Good Thing But To A Selfish Person It Could Be A Bad Thing Because They Aren’t Trying To Help Themselves.. Make Sense?

Answer by whrldpz
I agree with you! He was just throwing words around, he’s read to many ACOA books. Just because you assist people does not mean you do it to the point of denying your own needs. That would make all firemen, police officers and doctors codependent. Many times if a person comes from a family of challenge, there will be some predictable behaviors like alcohol abuse, denial, taking care of others. There are lots of sites that go over all of this if you wish to check it out. Best of luck to you!!

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